catholicanswersforum Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

#1    Yesterday, 1:43 pm

fnr  Regular Member Join Date: August 22, 2007 Posts: 614 Religion: Catholic, Roman Rite

Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics This fall, I may be leading a small group in my parish geared at bringing back Catholics who have been away from the Church. It'll be a weekly group for discussing the upcoming Sundays' readings. Has anyone here had particular success with reaching out to Catholics who have been away from the Church? I would guess that some people go to Protestant churches, while others just stop attending religious services altogether. Any strategies you can suggest for inviting people back would be wonderful. Also, if you have any stories on how to keep people talking and getting them to come back to mass, that would be wonderful as well. Humor, stories, particular verses... all would be most helpful. __________________ "When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why they are poor, they call me a communist." -Fr. Hélder Pessoa Câmara, Archbishop of Olinda and Recife, Brazil (1964-1985)

#2    Yesterday, 2:59 pm

SuscipeMeDomine  Regular Member Join Date: April 19, 2007 Posts: 3,982 Religion: Catholic, Obl.OSB

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics I wish you every success with this group. I think it's an area where action is greatly needed. We tried something similar in my parish and it wasn't a huge success. I had lots of people volunteer to help with the group (and it was wonderful that so many people found it to be a good idea) but we didn't have people show up. In the end we decided that that a group format wasn't quite right for us and ended up going to a one-on-one type of thing. If someone contacted the parish about either themselves or someone else who was interested in coming back to the Church I would meet with them individually to see what they needed and go from there. Some people just needed to know that the could come back. Some people had questions about all kinds of topics. Some people needed help with marriage situations. And so on. It seemed to work well though it was small. And an aside about the program and how that went. We decided to start it in January with the idea that there would be flyers in the pews at the Christmas Masses welcoming people to the parish and inviting them to our group if they had thoughts about returning to the Church. Then at the last minute the pastor decided to skip the flyers. I was frustrated! Christmas and Easter (and maybe Ash Wednesday) seem like the times to reach out to the people who only come to Mass occasionally and we missed our opportunity.

#3    Yesterday, 3:15 pm

Fan of Francis  Regular Member Join Date: June 30, 2009 Posts: 1,565

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Quote: Originally Posted by fnr  This fall, I may be leading a small group in my parish geared at bringing back Catholics who have been away from the Church. It'll be a weekly group for discussing the upcoming Sundays' readings. Has anyone here had particular success with reaching out to Catholics who have been away from the Church? I would guess that some people go to Protestant churches, while others just stop attending religious services altogether. Any strategies you can suggest for inviting people back would be wonderful. Also, if you have any stories on how to keep people talking and getting them to come back to mass, that would be wonderful as well. Humor, stories, particular verses... all would be most helpful. Many people leave because they do not feel a "connection". The may not "get anything out of it" or it is "boring" Some seek the emotional aspect of it as found in the Charismatic Renewal. Some have "Church family" where meetings and gathering take place and they have found family and friends. A small town vrs a City may have different methods to outreach. My guess would be to meet them where they are at. If they had bad or unwelcoming experience they may not want to come back and stay away. Consider targeting a sector of the population such as elderly, moms and dads, care takers, youth, divorced, single, etc and go from there. What will keep a person coming back? knowing that they are accepted, wanted and needed no matter what is going on in their life. A safe place so to speak. The Holy Spirit will do the rest. And prayer lots of prayer. Whick I will do for you and your group. __________________

#4    Yesterday, 3:33 pm

Country Gal  New Member Join Date: June 12, 2013 Posts: 411 Religion: Catholic (fallen away)

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics The biggest obstacle for me is that I'd need to go to confession to confess that I was alienated from the Church. I don't think it's a sin. __________________ Amy Farrah Fowler: "I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance."

#5    Yesterday, 3:59 pm

SuscipeMeDomine  Regular Member Join Date: April 19, 2007 Posts: 3,982 Religion: Catholic, Obl.OSB

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Quote: Originally Posted by Country Gal  The biggest obstacle for me is that I'd need to go to confession to confess that I was alienated from the Church. I don't think it's a sin. I like that the sacrament also has the name Reconciliation. Isn't that what's needed? Reconciliation with God, reconciliation with the Church, reconciliation with other people, even reconciliation between our own standards -- what we should do -- and what we actually do.

#6    Yesterday, 4:25 pm

Celtic Maiden  Junior Member Join Date: April 21, 2012 Posts: 258 Religion: Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Quote: Originally Posted by Country Gal  The biggest obstacle for me is that I'd need to go to confession to confess that I was alienated from the Church. I don't think it's a sin. I think your missing the point its more about while you were away from the Church doing "your own thing" Maybe you committed mortal sin, by not going to Sunday Mass and various other things, that only you know about that is why when you return to the Church you have to go to Confession. The Church wants you and all its members to get to heaven so like a good Mother she wants her children to do the right thing, not living away like a pagan. Its takes a lot to be humble, I am a Jewish convert so you would think I would find Confession hard, but I find it easy, I don't bat an eyelid, I know I am a sinner and have the humility to admit it, and that is what its about, humility to admit we are frail and we sin but we admit our sins and we are cleansed , how lucky we are in the Catholic Church to have this .

#7    Yesterday, 4:38 pm

Celtic Maiden  Junior Member Join Date: April 21, 2012 Posts: 258 Religion: Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Quote: Originally Posted by SuscipeMeDomine  I wish you every success with this group. I think it's an area where action is greatly needed. We tried something similar in my parish and it wasn't a huge success. I had lots of people volunteer to help with the group (and it was wonderful that so many people found it to be a good idea) but we didn't have people show up. In the end we decided that that a group format wasn't quite right for us and ended up going to a one-on-one type of thing. If someone contacted the parish about either themselves or someone else who was interested in coming back to the Church I would meet with them individually to see what they needed and go from there. Some people just needed to know that the could come back. Some people had questions about all kinds of topics. Some people needed help with marriage situations. And so on. It seemed to work well though it was small. And an aside about the program and how that went. We decided to start it in January with the idea that there would be flyers in the pews at the Christmas Masses welcoming people to the parish and inviting them to our group if they had thoughts about returning to the Church. Then at the last minute the pastor decided to skip the flyers. I was frustrated! Christmas and Easter (and maybe Ash Wednesday) seem like the times to reach out to the people who only come to Mass occasionally and we missed our opportunity. I am in the Legion of Mary doing just that, going door to door trying to bring back the "fallen" we give them Rosary beads, Miraculous Medal, and any literature on what is bothering them, some of them are like are Protestant brethren they think the Church teaches this, that and the other, when they have been very poorly taught the Catholic faith and come up with real odd questions, which we answer and which is not taught at all, sometimes we might pray with them at the doorway for there health if they allow us to, we tell them of any events happening in the Parish, like what you said they might find prayer and Mass boring, but we say to them, its not what you get out of it, but rather what are you putting into it while you are at Mass, are you praying and worshipping the Lord, or do you just want disco music . They tell me of course they don't want disco music, well we say, some of the Church's have lovely music, I then name the Church's that have Church music, either the Novus Ordo or the Tridentine Mass , I tell them the various Church's that have theses and the times, and what sort of Religious Music to expect. I had one fallen away Catholic last Friday who told me he was watching EWTN and realized his life was not in Order, asked me a good few questions, I told him the times of Confession in our local Church, and gave him a small booklet on the Mass for this Sunday when he goes back after 20 years away, and going to Confession on Friday. I could just imagine all the Angels (and Me) singing and rejoicing.

#8    Yesterday, 4:54 pm

Jozefo  New Member Join Date: July 29, 2013 Posts: 679 Religion: Self-actualized Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Best topic I've seen on this forum since I started coming here! Thank you for bringing it up. I feel alienated. I hope this thread picks up some interest from other posters, because I don't know how to define the source of alienation. Maybe someone will say something close to what I'm feeling. __________________ NOTICE -- All of my postings reflect only my opinions and suppositions. Strong caution is urged when reading my work product, and no warranty as to its accuracy or veracity is expressed or implied. Read at your own risk.

#9    Yesterday, 5:37 pm

boomerang  Junior Member Join Date: March 29, 2012 Posts: 286 Religion: Roman Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Quote: Originally Posted by Jozefo  Best topic I've seen on this forum since I started coming here! Thank you for bringing it up. I feel alienated. I hope this thread picks up some interest from other posters, because I don't know how to define the source of alienation. Maybe someone will say something close to what I'm feeling. I think the Catholic church can make you feel alienated. This is where the protestant/evangelical/non-denominational churches have the Catholic church beat by a mile. These churches make you feel as if you have found a family, not just a church, because I feel these churches are very parishioner-oriented. Our Mass is Christ-oriented. We're not there to entertain one another. This can be very alienating for those who don't have strong families that go to Mass together. Our church started in times when people had strong, close families and communities. They felt connected to each other, so when they went to Mass, it felt OK to lose sight of one another and get lost in the ritual of the Eucharist. But nowadays, many people are so separated from one another through divorce, moving away from family, single parents, only-child households, etc., that these people want and need the social family-like atmosphere that the protestant churches offer. Western society has changed and devolved so much over the last century, I'm afraid that our church is unattractive to those who look to churches to fill their need for friends and family. I don't know what the answer is. The only thing that will bring them back is if they realize that the Catholic church is the only church that has the sacraments that they need to sustain spiritual life. They will have to keep their eyes on the prize, and endure the loneliness that the Mass engenders, and that requires a willingness to make sacrifices. But who know? If enough singles come back, the Catholic church might end up being the coolest gig in town!

#10    Yesterday, 5:48 pm

boomerang  Junior Member Join Date: March 29, 2012 Posts: 286 Religion: Roman Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Quote: Originally Posted by fnr  This fall, I may be leading a small group in my parish geared at bringing back Catholics who have been away from the Church. It'll be a weekly group for discussing the upcoming Sundays' readings. Has anyone here had particular success with reaching out to Catholics who have been away from the Church? I would guess that some people go to Protestant churches, while others just stop attending religious services altogether. Any strategies you can suggest for inviting people back would be wonderful. Also, if you have any stories on how to keep people talking and getting them to come back to mass, that would be wonderful as well. Humor, stories, particular verses... all would be most helpful. I've been trying to get two ladies from my work to come back. One objection I've encountered is "having to go to confession". She hadn't been in decades. I told her that confession (at least at my church) is really easy. Our priest is so nice, I told her. Really light penances, no guilt trips! I don't know if this convinced her, but I see confession as a real deal-breaker. The other lady just seems apathetic. That's hard to fight. Lately I've been envisioning the priests doing a general absolution say, once a year. Maybe run an ad in the paper, whatever. Have everyone show up in the church and the priest just forgives everyone. Boom. Done. I know it's not the best way, but I'll bet many people would come back if they could do it that way. I've also been thinking about having booths at fairs and festivals, or maybe a kiosk at a mall. Have a priest there to hear confession and answer questions. Might be fruitful.

#11    Yesterday, 5:49 pm

Petaro  New Member Join Date: August 2, 2013 Posts: 95 Religion: Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics The Church in my area had a formal group based evangelisation called Catholics Returning to the Faith. I went to one meeting and a group of opinionated, judgemental stalwarts of the parish with their name tags in white plastic on their lapels led the charge. Many 'returnees' 'talked of abuse in catholic schools they had experienced. This line was immediately closed down. Others spoke of alienation due to being ostracised from the Eucharist as they were the innocent victim of divorce by their spouse. This was stamped on as no discussion of doctrine was allowed. The whole experience of watching these untrained experts push away good people approaching a confronting situation made me very angry. It is important not to be defensive against legitimate concerns about Church faults or hard doctrines. Most of all LISTEN. It should not be a debating club. Prayerful welcoming respect is a good start. Leave the rest to God.

#12    Yesterday, 5:52 pm

edwest2  Forum Elder Join Date: May 26, 2007 Posts: 17,284 Religion: Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics 1) I suggest looking at this web site which provides a kind of list of all the primary reasons Catholics feel alienated. http://www.catholicscomehome.org/ 2) Realize the your grandparents, parents, relatives and younger people are all experiencing the effects of a pagan culture that was marketed as "peace and love" but which was actually a dictatorship promoting open defiance of the Church, especially marriage, and forgetting about everything Catholic. "Do your own thing." Smoke dope, enjoy porn, live with your girlfriend and have sex with her. With No-Fault Divorce came this feeling of why bother? I can just divorce the guy. No, I'm not talking about mental and/or physical abuse, but I know too many Christians with two or three divorces under their belts. Sure, we can make a mistake once, but two or three times? 3) Guilt. God won't forgive me for the abortion, the adultery, the porn addiction, the drug addiction, the divorces. God's infinite mercy is waiting for all. 4) Bad examples all around. I mean, how can anyone watch a lot of TV or see most movies and not think the behaviors are somehow OK or neutral? Or the Church is "too restrictive" in regards to sex. This is a result of people not even knowing what dating is. Too often, it's 'let's hop in the sack,' 'the sex is good' and we may or may not get married. 5) People had a bad experience at some Church somewhere or just saw their fellow Catholics skipping Church altogether. We are living in a time where people are confused. They need the truth. Yes, some will say no, but don't count that as a loss, just add that person to your prayer list, and the others - what joy it is to help bring them home. I encourage going door to door, fully equipped with the necessary knowledge to answer most any question and the willingness to follow through and find an answer to something unexpected, and help that person to lose that feeling of God/the Church won't take me back. It's been 10, 20, 30 years! Will God take me back? They just need another human being who is faithful to say yes and encourage them. God bless, Ed

#13    Yesterday, 5:54 pm

Jozefo  New Member Join Date: July 29, 2013 Posts: 679 Religion: Self-actualized Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Quote: Originally Posted by Petaro  The Church in my area had a formal group based evangelisation called Catholics Returning to the Faith. I went to one meeting and a group of opinionated, judgemental stalwarts of the parish with their name tags in white plastic on their lapels led the charge. Many 'returnees' 'talked of abuse in catholic schools they had experienced. This line was immediately closed down. Others spoke of alienation due to being ostracised from the Eucharist as they were the innocent victim of divorce by their spouse. This was stamped on as no discussion of doctrine was allowed. The whole experience of watching these untrained experts push away good people approaching a confronting situation made me very angry. It is important not to be defensive against legitimate concerns about Church faults or hard doctrines. Most of all LISTEN. It should not be a debating club. Prayerful welcoming respect is a good start. Leave the rest to God. Yes, LISTENING is important! __________________ NOTICE -- All of my postings reflect only my opinions and suppositions. Strong caution is urged when reading my work product, and no warranty as to its accuracy or veracity is expressed or implied. Read at your own risk.

#14    Yesterday, 6:13 pm

Jozefo  New Member Join Date: July 29, 2013 Posts: 679 Religion: Self-actualized Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Quote: Originally Posted by edwest2  1) I suggest looking at this web site which provides a kind of list of all the primary reasons Catholics feel alienated. http://www.catholicscomehome.org/ 2) Realize the your grandparents, parents, relatives and younger people are all experiencing the effects of a pagan culture that was marketed as "peace and love" but which was actually a dictatorship promoting open defiance of the Church, especially marriage, and forgetting about everything Catholic. "Do your own thing." Smoke dope, enjoy porn, live with your girlfriend and have sex with her. With No-Fault Divorce came this feeling of why bother? I can just divorce the guy. No, I'm not talking about mental and/or physical abuse, but I know too many Christians with two or three divorces under their belts. Sure, we can make a mistake once, but two or three times? 3) Guilt. God won't forgive me for the abortion, the adultery, the porn addiction, the drug addiction, the divorces. God's infinite mercy is waiting for all. 4) Bad examples all around. I mean, how can anyone watch a lot of TV or see most movies and not think the behaviors are somehow OK or neutral? Or the Church is "too restrictive" in regards to sex. This is a result of people not even knowing what dating is. Too often, it's 'let's hop in the sack,' 'the sex is good' and we may or may not get married. 5) People had a bad experience at some Church somewhere or just saw their fellow Catholics skipping Church altogether. We are living in a time where people are confused. They need the truth. Yes, some will say no, but don't count that as a loss, just add that person to your prayer list, and the others - what joy it is to help bring them home. I encourage going door to door, fully equipped with the necessary knowledge to answer most any question and the willingness to follow through and find an answer to something unexpected, and help that person to lose that feeling of God/the Church won't take me back. It's been 10, 20, 30 years! Will God take me back? They just need another human being who is faithful to say yes and encourage them. God bless, Ed Great post, Ed. I think you covered all the big issues very well. There's a lot of truth in what you say. Great idea about going door to door. Are you aware of any Catholic groups that actually do that? I can't recall any Catholic people ever knocking on my door, evangelizing. __________________ NOTICE -- All of my postings reflect only my opinions and suppositions. Strong caution is urged when reading my work product, and no warranty as to its accuracy or veracity is expressed or implied. Read at your own risk.

#15    Yesterday, 7:03 pm

edwest2  Forum Elder Join Date: May 26, 2007 Posts: 17,284 Religion: Catholic

Re: Asking for your strategies for bringing back alienated Catholics Quote: Originally Posted by Jozefo  Great post, Ed. I think you covered all the big issues very well. There's a lot of truth in what you say. Great idea about going door to door. Are you aware of any Catholic groups that actually do that? I can't recall any Catholic people ever knocking on my door, evangelizing. See post #7. Best, Ed